at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
