Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
