What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
