Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
