You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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