are you still at the devil's house?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I have tasted many bathrooms
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
