this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
this hospital has no fireball
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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