I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
