I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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