I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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