My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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