If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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