I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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