Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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