"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
