I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
