suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
