yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
