Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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