If that was your dad, he is hot
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
