Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
