He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
