New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
he just fucked me for my cheese..
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
