between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
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