He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
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