Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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