I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
