so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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