If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
50% drunk capacity currently
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
