How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
