oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
