Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
