dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
