You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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