I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
