White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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