I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
