If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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