I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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