SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
