Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She's the barista slut.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
