if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
