She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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