I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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