is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I think a kid would responsible me up
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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