Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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