EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
