I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
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