The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
