My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
